Twisted Fates
by shelle87
Summary: One decision can change everything... Renee never left Charlie, instead choosing to raise Bella in Forks. As a consequence - Bella's life isn't as it should be.
1. Chapter 1

I managed to sneak into the house temporarily unnoticed as my parents were distracted by the game. The living room door had been left ajar, allowing the flickering glow from the television to spill out into the hallway illuminating my goal, the stairs. I crept further into the house, pausing to hazard a glance at Charlie and Renee. They were in their usual spots; Charlie sat in his chair, Renee sat on the sofa - the end furthest away from him.

Entering my bedroom, I quickly closed the door and for a brief moment considered propping a chair against it to prevent it from being reopened. I really wanted to avoid another confrontation with either Charlie or Renee. Deciding the chair was a bad idea and would certainly only make matters worse, I walked over to the window and waited.

As time passed I rationalised that the anxiety of what was to come would be much worse than the event itself, and I attempted to sidetrack my thoughts. The night was still, and despite being lit by the eerie orange glow of the street lights, the scene below my window looked peaceful. However, the view could not distract me from the events about to unfold within my room as I heard gentle footsteps ascending the stairs. The door opened and Renee entered. I didn't turn to face her.

"Why didn't you call?" There was no anger in her voice, only disappointment, which was worse. In preparation for my feeble defence, I squeezed my eyes shut to trap any cascading tears and inhaled deeply to steady my voice.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realise how late it was. Angela and I got talking." My voice cracked, and I hoped she would fall for the lie, but my mom was quite possibly the most perceptive person I knew. When I was younger, my father had joked that she had a sixth sense, and that like himself she should have considered a career in law enforcement since nothing escaped her notice. She didn't like this idea; she had told Charlie that I needed at least_ one _parent to be home at reasonable hours. Charlie resented the jibe, and he never mentioned the idea again.

"Not calling was completely irresponsible, Bella. Your father and I were worried." I remained silent.

"Was _Mike_ there?" The suggestion underlying her words was clear; Renee didn't like Mike. She felt he was no good for me, that he was a distraction and the cause of my recent disruptive behaviour. He was by far the last person she wanted me spending time with. Ironically, if I weren't dating Mike, then they wouldn't have a scapegoat for my recent acts, such as sneaking out, and they might have to look closer to home for the basis of my behaviour. I felt that they knew this; whether this knowledge was conscious or not, I wasn't sure. I was sure, though, that it was for this reason alone that they didn't prohibit me from seeing him altogether.

"Yes...but it isn't his fault. I _am_ sorry".

I wasn't lying this time. Renee and I both knew, however, that I wasn't sorry for hanging out with Mike, and I wasn't particularly sorry for coming in late. Most normal sixteen year olds broke curfew.

The problem was when I broke curfew it resulted in _tension_ between Renee and Charlie. Renee shared my view that some leniency could be allowed on occasion. Nothing serious ever happened in Forks - it was a small town - and, in addition, my dad was the chief of police and had drilled me on how to stay safe since I was two years old. Besides, with his persistence that I "at all times, no exceptions" carried pepper spray in my purse, I was definitely safe.

In contrast to Renee, Charlie did not create rules to be broken and would not tolerate my disregard to his authority. Hence, the divergence in parenting styles created tension, the tension for which I was sorry.

Renee had always been a free spirit, and in many ways, I was just like her. She had never intended to spend her life in Forks. Everyone who knew her felt she was destined for bigger things. Everyone, that was, apart from Charlie. It wasn't that he didn't know that she wanted to travel and experience different things, and it certainly wasn't that he didn't care. Charlie just didn't know how to let go, and so he hadn't.

For sixteen years he had held onto my mom, and she had let him. I was reluctant to admit that the reason she stayed was because of me, although I suspected it was true.

No longer able to avoid her, I turned to face her. Her eyes were wet, and I fought against my own tears that were threatening to overpower me. My chest ached. She didn't know how unhappy I was - no one knew. With Mike and Angela earlier this evening I felt like I was closer to being happy than I had been in a while. Yet, as time drew closer to my curfew, the feeling began to speed away. In recent months, more often than not, my outlook was dark. Tonight, I had just wanted to savour being on the verge of my despair. I twisted my mouth into what I hoped was a reassuring smile and felt my shoulders grow heavier with the knowledge that I couldn't tell her how I really felt.

"You know we worry, that's all," she said as she closed the distance between us and held me to her. I gripped her tightly and gave into my grief, causing Renee to hold me closer. For our part, the worst was over, but in many ways the worst was still to come.

Releasing me, she met my gaze and brushed her finger across my cheek, wiping away stray tears.

"You missed dinner, but I left some in the refrigerator. You can heat it up." She then left my room, closing the door behind her.

"Where was she?" Charlie was waiting in the hallway outside of my room, and he made no attempt to hide the irritation in his voice.

"She was with Mike," Renee explained in a hushed tone. The stairs creaked as she led the conversation downstairs.

"I don't want her seeing him anymore!" The anger in Charlie's voice grew along with the volume.

"Calm down," she instructed. "You're overreacting; she just lost track of time."

"Don't say that. Don't pretend that I'm overreacting, that my fears are an _overreaction," _he spat the last word.

"Keep your voice down." Renee had more patience than Charlie, but I could tell it was waning.

"You always do this! Make out that I'm the bad guy, I'm the monster. I know you feel the same way. I _know_ you do."

"I am not having this conversation again. When you are ready to _speak_ to me I'll be in the living room."

"Renee don't walk-"

I couldn't listen to them anymore, so I crashed onto the bed, plugging in my earphones in an attempt to drown them out. I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing the tears to well out.


	2. Chapter 2

The following morning fine rain fell from the clouds that perpetually covered Forks. Unexpectedly, Renee had been in the kitchen preparing breakfast when I came downstairs, my parents usually left for work earlier than I left for school. I took my mom's gesture as it was intended, she was apologising – with bagels. I instantly felt lighter.

I left earlier than usual for school so I could catch Mike before class to cancel our evening plans. Charlie was working late, and it was the usual Swan tradition that my mom and I would order pizza and watch a movie when he worked late. Too much had changed over the past few months and I cherished the things that remained constant.

When I arrived the parking lot was still empty, allowing me to grab a space close to the school. It was no longer raining and a few daring rays of sunlight had penetrated through the clouds resulting in a faint rainbow across the sky. The door to my 1953 Chevrolet truck, a birthday present for my sixteenth, was being characteristically stubborn and refused to open. Knowing a little force was necessary I shifted backward toward the passenger side and attempted a run up into it. Big mistake – the door swung open rapidly, causing me to fly out of the carriage. Grumbling, I began to pick myself up off the floor. A familiar laugh alerted me that someone was behind me and a strong hand cupped under my elbow pulling me to my feet.

"Jake," I growled. "Shouldn't you be at school? You know, in the reservation."

Jake lived near La Push beach, just outside of Forks. We had been friends since we were little, our dads were fishing buddies. Although younger than me in age, Jake towered above me in height and stature, he had shiny black hair, which he wore long and often pulled into a low ponytail. His smile was wide and shined like the moon on a clear night. Best of all, it always reached his eyes. Jake was never false, at least not with me. He was my best friend.

"I transferred." Jake looked down at me with a cautious expression, gauging my reaction. He was right to doubt whether I would be enthusiastic, Jake living in La Push and being my best friend was one of my few remaining constants. He was an escape for me. I wasn't sure that I wanted him to try and fit in with my friends at Forks High. If I'm being honest, I wanted to keep him to myself. With this is mind I responded with a nearly enthusiastic "really?"

"No," Jake's face once again grew wider with his smile. "Would've been nice to know I was wanted though, Bells!" He raised his right hand to clutch his chest, as though he was in pain; I had clearly mistaken caution for mischief.

"Nice, pick on the girl with the head injury!" I attempted to colour my voice with annoyance but I wasn't known for my acting ability. He continued to look at me with mock anguish, so I added.

"You know you're wanted."

He grinned broadly. "I came to invite you to a bonfire we're having on the Reservation." I raised an eyebrow and waited, we both knew an invitation could be given over the phone. "And I wanted to see you, it's been a while."

"I would love to come," I replied. We stood for a brief moment in comfortable silence until a van pulled into the spot beside my truck. Knowing that Mike would soon be at my side, Jake nodded his head indicating that he was leaving. I smiled weakly in response, like my parents, Jake didn't like Mike. I turned away from him towards the van and he whispered in my ear. "There's no plus one on the invitation. See you Saturday."

The side door of Tyler's van opened, like most vehicles owned by students at Fork's High it had seen better days. The blue paint was chipped and rust plagued the dented frame. Tyler wasn't the best driver and had been in a couple of accidents since he had gotten his licence. Mike interrupted my meditation. "Bella, what happened?"

He looked concerned but it was only when he tentatively touched my head that I realised what he meant.

"Um...it was nothing, I fell."

"I should take you to the nurse." He put his arm around my shoulders and began herding me towards the nurse's office before I had the chance to protest. I looked back over my shoulder to smile a goodbye to Eric and Tyler, who had now emerged from the van.

Mike and I had been dating for three months now; he has asked me out repeatedly since he had arrived from California when we were both ten. I always turned him down out of courtesy for my friend, Jessica. She liked him from the first moment she saw him and it became common knowledge to everyone – fast. Everyone that was, but Mike. Following a few years of making doe eyes at him without success, she proclaimed she had moved on. Mike continued to ask me out for various things and due to Jessica's persistence that she really was over him, I relented and said yes. Not that dating him was a bad thing, quite the opposite. Mike was extremely cute, he had what my mom would call a 'baby-face'. His hair was pale blond and usually styled into spikes. For a small town like Forks, he was quite the catch.

Before I knew it we reached the nurse's station and I shrugged out of Mike's grip so I could take control.

"Wait here," I instructed him.

"Are you sure?" He pouted as he knew he would have to go to class if he didn't come in with me.

"I'm sure," I smiled up at him and he bent to gently kiss my cheek. I smiled again at the gesture, and headed into the office.

I approached the large, wooden desk and knocked gently on the hard surface. Helen appeared from around the corner. She was a young woman with a warm smile and at that moment she also held a knowing look.

"Hi Bella, which part of your body, apart from your poor head, have you damaged now?" She said holding back a laugh. I quickly assessed myself and then held up my elbows, she always knew my injuries came in multiples.

"Wow. I'm impressed you managed to survive…" she paused raising an eyebrow for me to fill in the details.

"…falling from my truck," I smiled weakly.

"Falling from your truck with so few injuries. Only two, a personal best I think." She raised her hand, which I met with mine into a gentle high five. My relationship with Helen may have appeared strange to an outside observer but we had time to build a rapport, I was in this office at least twice a week, and that was a _good_ week.

"Let's get you sorted and on your way."

* * *

The rain had returned by the time it was lunch, the fine spray from this morning had developed in large droplets. Dark gray clouds blanketed the sky causing the light in the cafeteria to take on a gray tinge. Whilst gathering items to eat I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the steel counter. The lack of sunlight meant that my skin was very pale, almost translucent. The tone of my skin was a large contrast to my burgundy hair; my mom told me I resembled a porcelain doll. She joked I was as fragile as one. The bandage on my head supported her claims.

After collecting a cheese sandwich and a bottle of diet lemonade I scanned the cafeteria for my friends. They were at our usual table, only Jessica wasn't with them.

"Hi, Bella." I was greeted by Angela, a tall, pretty brunette, who was painfully shy.

"Hi." I smiled in greeting but remained distracted trying to find Jessica. My smile didn't hide my confusion and Angela filled me in.

"Jessica sat with Lauren today," Angela offered.

I whipped my head around to Lauren's table, there was Jessica, huddled together with Lauren – they were both laughing. Things between Jessica and I had been strained since I started dating Mike, I hoped we could patch things up but her move from our table indicated otherwise. I looked back towards Angela with a sigh.

"So did you get home okay?" she asked, my stomach twisted from the memories of the night before.

"Yeah, I got in safely." We were interrupted from discussing it further as Mike, Eric and Ben sat down. Eric always made me feel slightly uneasy; he was always overly helpful and could be very immature. He was slightly taller than me, with black hair which was always styled with too much hair gel in, giving it an oily appearance. Ben, on the other hand was always pleasant and I enjoyed his company. I didn't, however, enjoy it as much as Angela did. She blushed every time Ben looked her way, often causing an awkward atmosphere between them. The awkwardness was always there and never seemed to change. Mike broke me from my reverie.

"All patched up?"

"Yes," I replied, raising my elbows to confirm it.

"Good, what time can I expect you tonight?" I had forgotten to tell him this morning that I couldn't see him. I snuggled into his side and began stroking his arm in an attempt to soften my revelation.

"Rain check?"

He stiffened beside me and pushed me up to look into my eyes, disappointment clouded his face.

"Why?"

"My dad's working late and I don't want to leave my mom home alone." I pouted hoping he would drop it.

"I think she's old enough to be alone, Bella."

I knew there was no point in explaining about this being a tradition I wanted to remain intact, so I folded my arms across my chest in an effort to look stern.

"Well there is still your party on Friday and if I put in time with my mom now, you know she'll be able to persuade my dad to let me come." Mike's party had been the cause of a few arguments with Charlie, he of course had reason to be concerned – Mike's parents would be out of town _but_ as I had argued, I was sixteen and for my age, very responsible. Admittedly, my part of the argument was weak at best. Knowing what I said made sense, Mike's blue eyes creased into a smile.

"Good thinking." The lunchroom began to empty and I stood up to make my way to class.

Assigned seating had left me without a partner in Biology, so during group assignments I would usually pair up with Mike and Ben. When working alone, I always tried to make the most of the extra space, spreading my textbook out onto the empty side. As Mr. Banner walked up the aisle handing out assignments, he was followed by a chorus of groans and the occasional gasp of joy. When he reached my table I avoided eye contact. I had spent at most, four hours on an assignment which should have taken up the majority of my weekend.

"Bella," he began his tone was reproachful. "I know you can do better." He slid the paper onto the table, positioning it so that I could easily see the red **D-**.

"Tomorrow you will have a new lab partner, a very bright student from Alaska. Maybe working with someone other than Mr. Newton will improve your grade." He walked away before I could reply.

Not so long ago my lowest grade was a B+, school couldn't hold my attention like it used to, and I doubted a new lab partner would make a difference. I decided it was best to hide the grade from my parentsas long as possible. However, Mr Banner was right, I could do better. My previous pleasant mood had disappeared. When the bell rang I rushed to my truck, successfully avoiding Mike. I still had gym but I reasoned that one head injury was enough for the day. I drove home early to start preparations for my night in with Renee.


	3. Chapter 3

When I arrived back home the house was empty as I had expected. I dropped my backpack at the front door and kicked off my shoes. My mood had improved slightly during the ride from school, although Mr. Banner's disapproving tone was still dominant in my mind. He'd said he knew I could do better, and he was right. I made a mental promise to myself that I would try harder, for Charlie and Renee's sake, if not for my own; I would turn over a new leaf. With this decided, I began to search through the kitchen drawers for the takeaway pizza menus for tonight.

Renee arrived home just after half past five. She found me waiting for her in the living room armed with an eclectic choice of films to watch (we had very different tastes) and several menus I had found during my rummage.

"Hey," I said a little impatiently – eager for the night to begin.

"Hey Bells, was school OK?" she asked, busying herself by putting away her coat and bag. I thought she would be excited about tonight, but she appeared to be sad.

"School was school. Tonight is going to make up for it," I said brightly to cover my growing unease.

"Actually Bella," she began, for a brief moment I caught her eye. They were red and puffy – a knot developed in my stomach. "Do you mind if I give tonight a miss?"

I did mind. I wanted her to stay and watch movies. I wanted her to stay and tell me what was wrong.

"I guess not," I said. "Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong," she smiled lightly so it didn't reach her eyes. "I'm just not feeling very well," she lied. Deciding the topic was closed, she turned and left the room to head up the stairs. I watched her until she was out of sight, leaving me alone.

Several scenarios ran through my mind with regards to her distress. One was most prominent and most obvious – Charlie. I knew they had been arguing recently, but I had never seen my mom so upset before. I'd never known a time that she didn't want to talk to me about it.

Unsure what to do and not wanting to be alone, I decided to call Mike. My call was answered after four rings, only, to my surprise not by Mike.

"Bella!" Jessica's tone was strangely triumphant.

"Jessica?"

"Yes, it's _Jessica_," she spat.

"Er...hi. Is Mike there?" I wondered why _she _was there.

"He is," she sneered.

"Well great, can you put him on?" She was irritating me.

"Actually, I can't," she sang. "You see, when you cancelled your plans, he invited Lauren and myself round." Hence the triumphant tone – she obviously thought I would be jealous.

"How does that explain why he can't come to the phone?"

"Because, Bella, he is _busy _with _me_." With this insinuation she hung up the phone, leaving me fuming on the other end. I was in two minds as to whether I should call back and demand that she let me speak to my boyfriend, or whether I should go over there and confront her. Instantly, I decided on the latter.

Uncommon for Forks, the sky was clear. The setting sun painted the sky with vibrant hues of red and pink. It was beautiful. As I appreciated the sky I became less worried about Jessica. Renee loved to watch the sun set, and right now she needed me. I trusted Mike; whereas I didn't trust Jessica. At least I _thought_ I could trust Mike, I certainly never expected him to invite Jessica and Lauren over. Was he annoyed at me for cancelling our plans? Would Renee want to talk to me now? I'd only be gone an hour or two. The thought of Renee's tear stained face decided it for me. She needed me, whether she would admit it or not – Mike and Jessica would wait. By the time I had headed back into the house the sun had set leaving the sky grey.

The sounds of my footsteps were amplified by the silence that filled the house. Renee would hear me coming and I hoped she would unlock the door without needing to be asked. I paused for a moment on the top step listening for the 'click' of the lock. I heard nothing. I knocked gently using only my index finger. Silence. Panic began to wash over me – what if she was hurt?

"Mom?" I called.

The responding silence was uncomfortable.

I grabbed the handle in an attempt to push the door open but the lock resisted. I resolved that it needed to be kicked down, it was dramatic but she could really be hurt. I began to raise my foot as she spoke...

"Bella, please!" her voice was strained. "Just for tonight, please, leave me alone. I don't want to talk." Her words knocked me back slightly; they were harsh and unfamiliar. Renee had always wanted to talk. She loved to talk and often complained about having two _thinkers_ for company.

The knot in my stomach tightened. I considered calling Charlie but doubted his commitment to his family over his commitment to his job, and I figured he would make matters worse. Void of hope of getting answers to my questions, I decided to go to bed and try again in the morning.

* * *

The next day, I woke up earlier than I had intended. My sleep had been restless and full of strange dreams. I had been in the woods behind my house and someone was watching me. My escape attempts were unsuccessful; no matter which direction I ran in, I would always return to the same spot.

No one came downstairs while I ate my breakfast and gathered my belongings for school. A blanket was folded neatly on the sofa, and on top of it was a cushion. I deduced Renee hadn't unlocked the door for Charlie either, who seemed to have left for work already.

I debated whether or not to disturb Renee. Deciding against it after last night, I left for school early to catch up on some work in the library. Renee would approve of my dedication to my studies, and I wanted to make her happy.

Apart from the librarian and me, the library was empty. Clearly, not many students of Forks High were as studious as I was, or more probably they just weren't as far behind as I was. Despite initial good intentions, I found myself distracted by thoughts of Mike and Renee. I formulated plans to make everything better. I would talk to Mike about Jessica, and request that he be more considerate of my feelings toward her. I was busy thinking about Renee when I was interrupted by the presence of someone who appeared to be _vibrating_ as they stood by my desk.

I looked up to find a girl standing there. She was so striking that I was certain she was unfamiliar to me – I would remember that face. Her skin was flawless and incredibly pale. She was tiny – in build and height. Sitting down I was able to look directly into her face. I was about to look away, feeling uncomfortable under her intense stare, when I noticed her eyes. They were an unusual golden brown colour; they glistened like liquid gold– I held her stare, mesmerised. A few moments later, the librarian sneezed, releasing me from the girl's trance. She looked as though she was waiting for me to speak.

"Can I help you?" I doubted I could be of assistance, but it seemed like a polite opening.

"Hi," she smiled a beautiful, unearthly smile, exposing brilliant white teeth framed by deep pink lips. I regretted not taking the time to put some make up on. "My name is Alice," she continued. "I'm new here."

"Bella," I introduced myself.

"Hi Bella," she sang whilst waving her tiny hand. Strangely, she still appeared to be vibrating, as though she was intensely excited. I waved back amused by her greeting and enthusiasm.

"Bella," she repeated, her voice had a musical tone to it. "It is so nice to meet you." She was still smiling, I felt myself being unwilling drawn in again, her behaviour was peculiar and yet bizarrely contagious. She was disturbing my focus.

"Same." I smiled and turned back to my work. I expected her to leave; a part of me wanted her to so I could continue making my plans. Instead, she sat down in the seat next to me, still smiling.

"Having a good day?" I inquired. Her smile puzzled me, and it was like she knew something I didn't. Her face straightened instantly and froze into a neutral expression. She began to make a low humming sound, as though she was muttering to herself. I couldn't make out what she was saying.

"I think it's going to be a very good day," she responded carefully. "Sorry for my strange behaviour – excitement, anxiety and caffeine about the new school will do that to a girl. Well the excitement and anxiety at least, the caffeine I ate, well drank, actually I had it with breakfast..." she trailed off from her ramblings, shaking her head gently. Her lips pursed and her brows furrowed – she appeared to be disappointed. She began muttering again, I think she said something like "I'm not doing this well" but I couldn't be sure. With another shake of her head, her smile returned, only this time it looked more human. Concerned her mood would change quickly again, I made my excuses to leave – I couldn't handle her right now.

"I have to go and meet someone," I lied, standing to gather my things.

"You do?" she asked, with a hint of disbelief in her voice.

"Yes," I confirmed. "Bye." I left her in the library looking a little lost.

I went around the side of the library and switched my cell phone on before I headed to my first class, I had two messages. The first was a text message from Mike:

_On field trip. Meet 2nite? We need 2 talk. I've been thinking about us. M_

That didn't sound promising. But it fitted in with my plan – talking could only help. The second was a voice message from my mom:

"_Bella, honey I wished you had picked up the phone. You left early for school. I'm so sorry about last night. I really messed up, sweetheart," _she paused. _"Listen, I didn't want to do this on the phone. I love you. I love you so much, you are my world, my baby, my everything,"_ her words became less coherent, pain pierced my heart as I realised she was holding back tears. _"But I can't stay. Darling, I can't." _I started to feel dizzy. _"I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. I really messed up. I will explain everything, I promise. And I will come back for you. Your father and I are getting divorced. Oh goodness – I really am the worst mom to be doing this on the phone. Baby, I'm so sorry. Please call me. I love you – never forget it, never doubt it. I love you. Please call."_

At once, all of the air was sucked out of the world, and my head continued to spin. Gasping, I doubled over and fell to my knees, biting down on my bottom lip to steel myself against crying. How could she leave? The floor began to sway. She had nowhere to go. I was here; how could she leave _me_? Leave me with Charlie. Leave me without her, alone. Where would she go? Why would she leave? My questions caused the world to whirl around so fast; I collapsed onto my side to hold myself steady. As I lay there, curled up, I became aware of gentle footsteps hurrying towards me.

"Oh gosh – Bella!" The voice sounded familiar and panicked. I squeezed my eyes closed, causing a swell of tears to spill over my nose, they tickled and I wiped them away in frustration.

"Bella?" It was Alice. I opened my eyes. Her beautiful face mocked me; her life was probably perfect. Her mom would be waiting at home for her at the end of the day. She began to wipe away my tears, her glove felt soft against my skin; it was almost comforting.

"I'm so sorry," she said. Her golden eyes shimmered with concern and pity, their beauty unmarred by the negative emotion. I wouldn't be pitied by her; he didn't even know me. What was she sorry for? I rose to my feet quicker than I thought possible. Alice glided elegantly to one side to give me space to do so. She then moved toward me.

"Stay back," I demanded. More concern pooled into her eyes. Not wanting to look at her a moment longer, I ran, unsure where I was going.

I continued to run until it became a struggle to get air into my lungs. I was in the woods. Exhausted, I collapsed against a tree; its coolness did nothing to ease the pain in my chest. Everything was silent. It was like she had intended me to be, alone.


	4. Chapter 4

I don't remember much about the days that followed Renee's call. I know that I left the woods when the sky had darkened and somehow made my way back home. Charlie didn't disturb me to begin with, but on the morning of the third day, I heard a gentle knock on my door.

"Bella?" he said softly.

I froze and held my breath to prevent letting him know I was awake.

"Bells?" he repeated.

I continued to fight against the pressure building in my lungs to remain perfectly silent. He would go away; I was sure of it.

"Bella, you can't stay in there forever," he stated, his once soft tone was now shaded with irritation. "I called your school; they expect you back on Monday. I've left some money on the table for you to order something to eat – I haven't had chance to go shopping," he paused as I released the breath I had been holding a little louder than I intended. "Well, at least I know you're alive," he continued, once again in a gentle tone. Apparently satisfied that I was breathing, I heard his footsteps retreat down the stairs. And once again, I was alone.

No longer able to sleep and driven by the angry grumbles coming from my stomach, I decided to go downstairs with the hope of finding _something_ to eat in order to avoid having to make small talk with the pizza delivery man. As I expected, Charlie had left for work. I imagined him pacing up and down the kitchen, debating with himself about whether to wake me. His absence indicated that he'd debated right until the last minute before he had to leave. Although, it was unusual for him to be so indecisive; perhaps he hadn't debated at all. Perhaps he had planned it that way to avoid a drawn out conversation with me. My stomach growled, breaking me from my thoughts – it was pointless to speculate.

The kitchen seemed different; it only took a moment for me to realize that it was less welcoming. The kitchen cupboards, once cheerful and yellow, acted only as reminders of the day that Renee impulsively decided to paint them.

"_You know Bells, I've always hated brown cupboards," she mock whined._

"_The cupboards are fine Mom," I said, realizing where this was going. Renee's spur of the moment DIY urges left the house looking like a clown had sneezed in their make-up._

"_Fine, but not good?" she teased._

"_They're good," I corrected._

"_Good, but not..."_

"_They're fabulously awesome. Really."I exclaimed, even though I knew the battle was lost._

"_We're going to paint them," she beamed, her enthusiasm infectious."We're going to paint them – drum roll please!" Her eyes had narrowed in feign disappointment that I wasn't playing along._

_Hopelessly drawn in by her dramatics, I used the now hated brown cupboards as a drum, causing the smile to explode back on to her face. _

"_Yellow!" she announced. She was holding out her arms in an 'L' shape, like the female assistant from a game show. _

"_Yellow?" I queried. Of course we were painting them yellow; cream or beige just wasn't Renee._

"_Yes, Bella, yellow," she said as she gently tapped my nose. "Get your shoes on; we have some shopping to do."_

Yellow. Yellow was the colour of daisies. It was the colour of the sun. But here, in this kitchen, the colour was faded and chipped. Despite their beauty, daisies eventually succumb to death. The sun, although glorious and powerful, cannot fight away the approaching darkness. And these yellow cupboards could not hide the fact that Renee was gone. Without her, they were just silly and garish. I quickly uncovered some pop tarts at the back of a cupboard and unable to be reminded of Renee any longer, I grabbed the box and ran back to my room.

* * *

Monday came around all too quickly and with very little interaction between Charlie and me. He only disturbed me to let me know when someone had called for me. Mike called three times, Jake four. Renee hadn't called at all.

My first classes went by in a blur. Most of my friends were absent due to a geography field trip, so I successfully managed to avoid having to explain the reason behind my absence and lack of contact, for now at least.

I sat alone at lunch and watched my peers congregate – everything and everyone felt distant. They seemed happy as they laughed and joked with one another. Their emotions looked so foreign to me that I was absorbed by them. I hoped that if I concentrated hard enough their joy would pierce me, but it didn't. I wasn't upset anymore. I had cried all I could. What I was feeling now was much worse. Numbness seared through my entire being. It was heavy and caused my frame to slouch.

I decided to check my phone, which had been turned off since _the _voicemail. A picture of Mike greeted me as the phone fired up. His face was oddly comforting as I remembered that I had felt anger towards him. But I didn't feel it anymore; I felt nothing. I was pleased however, that for a brief moment I felt comfort – it proved I was still one of the human race.

I had eight text messages, and two voicemails. I felt reluctant about checking them before my next class; I wasn't sure whether Charlie would cover for me if I left school during the day again. The bell rang to announce the end of lunch, startling me so that the phone slipped from my hand, back into my bag. I zipped it shut – I would check them when I got home.

I arrived at biology sooner than I expected, but still later than everyone else. Due to the field trip, the class was only half full and like in the cafeteria everyone was chatting and laughing. However, a blanket of silence smothered the room as I entered. I didn't need a crystal ball to know why, in a town this small everyone would _know_. My appearance probably only fuelled the fire; despite having slept for days, my eyes were sunken and framed with darkness. I hung my head low and allowed my hair to fall over my face, providing me with a burgundy barrier to the outside world. Concentrating on my feet, I performed the necessary footsteps which would lead me to my desk. There were twelve steps in total. It only took five steps for the muffling blanket to be lifted and to be replaced with hushed voices.

Apathetic to my surroundings the voices passed through my consciousness – I made no attempt to recognise the content or their respective owners. In seven more steps I had made it to my desk. I sat down and briefly glanced around the room. As half of the class was absent, the lesson would be simple. Mr. Banner wasn't keen on teaching the same material twice.

By the time Mr. Banner had entered the room, talking had resumed to its normal volume, which I hoped meant that I was no longer the topic of choice. I watched the rain splash against the windows, turning my head away from the room. Large splodges tappedrelentlessly, in quick succession. As I watched the impacted drops glide down the window, the chair beside me scraped against the floor. The action sounded deliberate and forced – the chairs weren't heavy enough to make that noise on their own.

"_Tomorrow you will have a new lab partner..." _Mr. Banner's words replayed in my mind. My new lab partner was noisy – great. I kept my eyes focussed on the rain, tilting my head downward so that my hair fell against the side of my face.

"As half of the class is absent today due to the field trip, I want the rest of you to design a poster highlighting the importance of recycling," Mr. Banner announced. I could handle that. "In pairs," he added. _That_, I wasn't so sure about. I immediately felt sorry for the person who sat next to me, knowing what a good first impression I would make. Where did Mr. Banner say they were from? I was sure it was somewhere, perhaps somewhere cold, but I couldn't remember.

The person beside me cleared his throat causing me to jump. The person was a _he_, a guy_. _Had Mr Banner told me that? I wasn't sure.

"Are you OK?" he asked, causing me to turn around. He was staring intently at me, concern tainting his face. I looked down at the table.

"I'm fine," I responded. "Just tired I guess." When he didn't reply I attempted to sneak another look at him – his face was very pale, a fact which was only intensified by his mess of bronze coloured hair. He quickly turned and met my eyes. He seemed amused that he had caught me looking at him. His smile was dazzling and led my gaze up to his eyes. They were golden brown, almost like honey, only bright and sparkling. It took me a little while to register that looking at him caused my world to slow down. Disconcerted, I looked back to the table.

"I'm Edward Cullen," he said which caused his rich, velvet voice to dance through my mind, leaving me momentarily enchanted.

"You're Bella Swan," he prompted.

Surprise broke the spell, and I snapped my head back up to look at him.

"How do you know?"I asked, abruptly.

"Mr. Banner told me," he replied, unfazed by my tone. Behind him, I noticed that two girls were pointing and whispering. Edward seemed to notice too, as he ran his fingers through his hair and shot them a quick smile. Their faces paled in response and the whispering ceased. He was undeniably good looking, but their reaction was ridiculous.

"Quite the fan club," I noted absentmindedly.

"Shall we begin?" he asked, ignoring my comment.

"Begin?"

"The poster." He spoke slowly, as though he was confused.

"Um, sure," I said. I smiled lightly at him and began to pull out my notebook. I was embarrassed that he would see the "I heart Mike" scrawled all over the cover, so I decided to tear out a page on my lap – hiding it from view. Edward laughed a brief, dry laugh. Realising he had seen it caused my cheeks to blaze. I was confused as to why I cared about what he thought.

I placed a sheet of paper on the table so that it was positioned between us. Edward, who was sitting further away from me than was strictly necessary, positioned his body toward me – without coming any closer. He was slender than he looked from the side, toned but slim. He was very appealing, and the smirk on his face indicated that he knew it. I hated arrogant guys and I was determined not to feed his ego.

"So, er...?" I hesitated.

"Er?" he responded, waiting for me to continue.

"I'm sorry, I seem to have forgotten your name," I lied. He seemed shocked at this and it took a moment for him to respond.

"Edward," he said, appearing more amused than annoyed. "And you're Bella, right?" he joked. His smile was crooked – the only imperfect thing about him, and yet, it added to his perfection. I couldn't help but smile in response.

"You have a beautiful smile," he stated offhandedly. "I think we should go for a comical approach," he said, moving to the poster.

I paused, pleased with his complement. "I think a comical approach sounds like a fine idea," I replied.

The rest of biology passed very quickly. I found that being with Edward was easy. He didn't pry and he didn't know any of the town gossip to cloud his opinion of me. He just allowed me to be. As the bell rang I couldn't help but feel disappointed that I wouldn't see him until tomorrow.

I nibbled my lip, hoping he would understand that I was thinking. Mike would be back tomorrow, and someone like Edward would make him feel insecure. Did I want Mike and me to work?

"We could work on that memory of yours," he quickly added, breaking me from my thoughts. "I'm Edward by the way," he mocked.

I winced as one of my teeth caught my lip, and a copper taste invaded my mouth. Before I had chance to assess the damage, Edward stiffened beside me, his tendons tensed in his arms. Alarmed by his behaviour, I glanced up at his face to see what had happened. His once golden eyes had grown darker so that they were almost black, and all humour had disappeared from his face. I couldn't read his expression; it was mix of extreme panic and something else, something dark. He didn't appear to be moving, to be _breathing_. Instinctively, I froze as well. My heart thudded loudly in my chest. I was trapped like a deer in headlights by the intensity of his glare. Before I had the chance to exhale my held breath, he got up, and like a flash he disappeared.


	5. Chapter 5

When I arrived back from school, I was surprised to see Angela waiting for me leaned up against the side of her 1955 Volkswagen beetle. She rushed to greet me, and forcing my stubborn door open she quickly pulled me into an embrace. News travelled fast in a small town.

"Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry," she said softly into my hair. Her kindness caused the pain to flare up in my chest once more, and I let myself go, gripping her for support. My anguish brought us to our knees but this only caused her to hold me tighter.

We remained there for several minutes, me crying and Angela offering me something I hadn't realised I needed. Sure, I had cried a lot over the past week but people _knowing _made it feel more real. When the tears turned to dry heaves she led me inside and brought me a glass of water. We both waited for me to calm down.

Angela spoke first, "Has she called?"

"She left me a voicemail but I haven't heard anything since," I replied and began to fill her in on the details of the message.

"She really hasn't called since?" she questioned.

"Well I have two other voicemails but I'm not ready to check," I admitted. Being able to talk to someone brought me a sense of relief.

"I think that's probably a good idea. This isn't something that should be done over the phone; you need to speak with her in person." Angela was right but if I wasn't ready to check my voicemail then I certainly wasn't ready to see Renee in person.

To the surprise of us both, the front door opened, Charlie was home - early. He walked into the kitchen and greeted Angela before turning to me. His face paled slightly as he took in my dishevelled appearance. I looked down under his scrutiny, embarrassed at being so distraught. I had successfully managed to avoid Charlie when I had looked so broken, I wasn't sure what his reaction might be.

"Bella, you can't go on like this," he said gently, his voice laced with love and concern. Angela rubbed my hand across the table indicating that she agreed with him. "I'm going to have a quick shower, and then you and I are going to have a chat." He turned to go upstairs, nodding goodbye to Angela on his way.

"I think that's my cue to leave," she stated in a low voice. "Oh, before I forget, Mike has moved his party, its tonight," she added. "He didn't want to have it on Friday without you, and of course, I wasn't at school today to tell you," she explained, glancing cautiously over her shoulder to ensure that Charlie was really gone.

"Oh."

"Will you come? We can talk some more there." Upon seeing my hesitation she added, "It might be fun." Fun – was I still capable of such a thing? Angela's reassuring smile gave me hope and made me long for a degree of normality.

"I'll see what I can do," I said brighter than I thought was possible, causing Angela to grin mischievously.

I walked her to the door and watched as her car drove away before heading back to the kitchen to talk to Charlie. He didn't make me wait long and we both inhaled deep breaths in preparation for what was sure to be an awkward conversation.

"How was school?" he began.

"It was OK," I lied while tracing the pattern of the floor tiles with my toe. Up, across and down, I repeated this action while Charlie watched. We both became mesmerised by the distraction. It was Charlie who broke free first.

"Anyone...err... say anything?"

"No," I said, tucking my foot up underneath me, "Not to me anyway."

"Good."

"Yeah." We were off to a great start. We used to talk openly about all kinds of things but that had stopped the first time he'd caught me sneaking in drunk.

"_What do you think you're doing?" Charlie yelled as he dragged me through my own window. I would usually leave a ladder propped up against the side of the house to allow me to sneak back in after curfew. It had been there for a month now but heavy snow had caused Charlie to need to go into the shed to find the snow shovel. What he found instead, was my ladder and me not in my room._

"_Ow! Dad, let go!" I cried._

"_Have you been drinking?" he demanded, gripping me by my shoulders to hold me upright._

"_No," I slurred._

"_Don't lie to me, Bella. I can smell it," he growled._

"_Why are you shouting?" Renee said groggily. It was 3am, she, like most other people, had been asleep. "Oh, Bella," she said when she saw me._

"_Oh, Bella? Oh,Bella!? Is that all you have to say to your drunk teenage daughter!" Charlie shouted._

_Renee stood there stunned. Charlie rarely raised his voice to her. I tried to tear myself from his grip but he only held me tighter._

"_This is your fault, Renee. Your carefree attitude and lenient rules have led to this!" he continued, gesturing to the open window. "Anything could have happened to her!"_

_Turning back to me, he lifted my face with his hand. "You are grounded, indefinitely. You will go to school and you will come home. That is it. No Mike, no Angela, no anything except school and home. If I catch you pulling a stunt like this again..." he didn't finish the sentence, it was more threatening that way. I looked to Renee for help but she just stood there, dumbfounded. _

"It isn't your fault, Bella. I just want you to know that," Charlie finally spoke, breaking me from my thoughts. I didn't respond and focussed my eyes on my knees – I wouldn't cry.

"Things were just... they just weren't working," he continued, his voice cracked slightly as he spoke. "Sixteen years with one person just isn't what some people want." I knew he was referring to Renee rather than himself, this was more than obvious from the grief that plagued his voice. Charlie was in pain too – I had just been too wrapped up in myself to notice. Looking at him now I could see he looked drained, his frame, less proud than before, was slumped in the chair like he had been defeated.

"Why did she just leave?" I uttered, trying to contain my sorrow. Charlie's eyes met my own. Like mine, they were deep brown, and like mine, Renee's departure hung below them, displayed as dark, heavy circles.

"I don't know. It wasn't planned," he admitted, the hurt in his face was unbearable but I couldn't look away, I needed to see it. I needed to realise that he wasn't the bad guy here; neither of us had wanted this. "But she loves you, you know that, right?" I was finally able to look down in an attempt to hide my doubt. If she did, she would've stayed. She would've left me with more than a voicemail. "She does, Bella," he reassured me and I realised how much I'd missed my dad recently and that I wasn't completely alone.

"Is it really over?" I asked quietly.

He drew in a deep breath before responding, "Yes, honey, I think it's really over."

"Can I go out?" I asked, catching him by surprise. I knew I shouldn't, that I should stay and comfort him, but I couldn't. I needed to process what he had said and I couldn't do that here.

"Um, sure," he stuttered, looking slightly disappointed. "Don't be out late," he instructed before adding, "please," in a low voice.

"I love you, Dad," I said, causing a light smile to grace his lips.

"Love you too, Bells."

* * *

"Hey, babe," Mike's face lit up as he greeted me on his porch. His house was very grand. Mr. Newton was the owner of a chain of department stores, making the family extremely wealthy.

"Hey," I said lightly. He showed no knowledge of the latest town gossip, which wasn't surprising; Mike didn't gossip and showed little interest in current events. His ignorance would normally have irritated me but today I was grateful for it.

"Come in, no one's here yet but we can hang out," he sounded excited as he led me inside, "In my room," he added.

"Sure," I said. I found Mike's carefree behaviour comforting. I would, of course, have to tell him about my parents, but for now it was nice pretending that nothing had happened.

Mike's room was, I assumed, typical for a teenage boy. Although, at my insistence, he had removed the various nude, distasteful posters he'd previously displayed. The walls were covered with various sporting heroes and a couple of movie posters. His shelves held hundreds of computer games and DVD's but very few books. Mike didn't like to read.

He pulled me into his arms and kissed me on the lips, the familiarity of his kiss soothed me, causing me to deepen it. He pressed me closer to him, his fingers playing with the hem of my shirt and caressing my back; the kiss was obviously turning him on. I was pleased with the power my touch had on him but now wasn't the time so I broke the kiss and he cradled my face, breathing deeply.

"Gosh, Bella," he breathed. "You're amazing, I love you so much."

Unsure how to respond, I remained silent which caused Mike to hold me at arm's length so that he could see my face.

"I _said_ I love you," he repeated, looking confused. His blue eyes twinkled in fruitless anticipation that I would say it back, but I wouldn't, I _couldn't, _not with everything that was happening.

"Bella?" he prompted.

"Uh?" I mumbled, pathetically, my face growing hot. He released me and took a step back; running his fingers through his hair in what I assumed was either frustration or disappointment.

"Mike, please," I pleaded, taking a tentative step toward him. He held up his hand to stop me, the action caused my heart to leap into my throat.

"OK," he said simply and left me alone in the room.

I waited there for some time before I heard the doorbell. The party was about to start, so I put on my game face and headed downstairs in search of a little Dutch courage.

Almost all of our year had turned up. Mike's parents were away for the evening so we had the house to ourselves which meant we had full access to their alcohol supply. I was helping myself to tequila shots. On the fifth shot, I heard a velvet voice say my name.

"Edward," I greeted, surprised to see him here. "Feeling better?" I asked, referring to our encounter during Biology.

"Yes, thank you," he stated, looking a little uncomfortable.

"You know, if you're going to be around me you're going to have to get used to blood," I slurred light heartedly; the alcohol was beginning to take a hold of me.

"Around you?" he questioned. "I don't think it would be wise to spend time together, Bella." His response confused, and if I'm honest, hurt me. I had _expected_ him to ask _why_ he would have to get used to blood and then I had planned to explain that I was accident prone. I had gone through this conversation on the drive home today. Edward wasn't playing along!

"Relax," I spat. "I meant in biology, you are my lab partner, right?" His face smoothed, hiding any emotional response. "Gosh, I have a boyfriend you know, not every girl will collapse at your feet!" The alcohol helped to hide any trace of hurt he may have detected in my voice.

"Bella, I didn't mean it like that," he spoke softly, as he often did with me.

"Bite me!" I cried and stormed off with the bottle of tequila to find Mike – he loved me! Why was I wasting my time making Edward feel comfortable when _he _clearly wanted nothing to do with me!

I found Mike in the TV room. In my drunken stupor, I struggled to see him, with only the glare of the television for illumination so I fumbled for a light switch. As light flooded my eyes I took in the scene and recoiled as though I had been punched in the stomach. Mike was not alone. Jessica was sat with her legs wrapped around his torso. Her talons were tangled in his hair. I dropped the bottle and it crashed to the floor. As it rolled away from me its content spilled, creating a liquid trail to my deceitful boyfriend. I followed the trail toward Mike with my eyes as he followed it back to me.

I expected everything to move in slow motion, like in the movies, but when Jessica jumped up and smoothed down her skirt, before starting to fuss with her hair I realised everything was moving too fast for me to process. I missed my chance to react as the noise had alerted some people nearby and word seemed to have quickly spread that something was happening. Party goers quickly filled the room in the hope of bearing witness to a fight.

"He kissed _me_, Bella," Jessica sneered, her voice was distant, almost like an echo. I stared at her stunned, her makeup was smeared from their passionate embrace but she wore the smudged lipstick like a trophy, with her head held high. This is what she had wanted all along. She _was_ my best friend, what had I done to deserve this? I turned to Mike in time to see his face drain of colour and I knew that Jessica's account was true.

Time finally slowed down as everyone waited for me to say something but I couldn't form the words. What _could _I say? I looked around the room, meeting the faces of the people at the party, of the strangers and... of my friends. Angela, Eric, and...Edward. He was the only person in the room not looking at me. He was looking at Mike. His menacing stare looked foreign, yet instinctive on his beautiful face. He looked like he was about to rip Mike's head off. I wondered if I should be concerned about this. Did I want Mike's head on his neck? I didn't get chance to decide as Mike spoke up, breaking me from my child like debate.

"Bella, I want _you. _Babe, you know, it's always been you. I'm drunk," he pleaded with me. I didn't respond. My heart thumping within my chest was the only thing that felt real, I was numb to any emotion I _should_ have been feeling, a familiar feeling of late. He began to walk towards me, arms outstretched and palms face up – a display of surrender or caution – I wasn't sure. Everyone waited for my reaction with bated breath. With everyone watching me no one noticed Edward move across the room toward me.

"Stay away from her," Edward threatened.

A collective gasp resonated around the room. His action had taken everyone by surprise, including myself. From what he had said earlier, he wanted very little to do with me. Mike shirked back in fear. I considered this an appropriate response as at this moment Edward looked truly terrifying. No one moved for several moments, Edward remaining the stillest of all. My heart continued to thud and in the silence of the room I was sure everyone could hear it. Edward was stood in front of me, like a guard, like my white knight. I didn't know how to react.

The tension in the room was overwhelming and I decided that it would be best for me to leave and I ran to my truck. The day's events cycled through my mind and I was pleased I wasn't the kind of girl to write a diary. I wanted to forget this day had ever happened. I had lost so much and yet, I wasn't feeling anything. I was perfectly numb, so much so that I wished for the pain to return. I was startled to see the girl from the library, Alice, standing next to my truck.

"I'll drive you home," she offered, gently. How did she know to be here? I hadn't seen her inside.

"I'm fine to drive," I stated.

"No, you're not. How much did you drink in there?" she questioned. Her golden eyes were once again marred with concern for me.

I did a mental count and realised she was right. But I still didn't want her to drive me.

"I think I left something inside," I said, leaving her by my truck. Like in the library, she didn't follow me. I ran to the back of the house and made my way to the bottom of the garden. Mr. Newton hated gardening so he had sectioned off part of the garden to make less work for himself. This section was still accessible through a gate; I knew no one would come down here. As I made my way through the overgrown greenery I discovered a lonely bench and sat down. The night was silent, the stars were bright and the moon was full. At any other time I would've considered it peaceful – right now the silence was excruciating. It left me alone with my thoughts about the decisions I would need to make. Could I stay with Mike? Who would I live with? To escape my own mind I considered letting Alice drive me home when I heard a _snap _behind me. Startled I spun round to greet the intruder.

"Edward," I stated, my heart fluttered as his name passed my lips. In the moonlight he looked even paler, and more alien to me.

"May I sit with you?" he asked. I gestured to the empty spot, inviting him to sit. His presence caused my heart to beat erratically, I was grateful he couldn't hear it.

"This has been the most eventful first day I have ever had," he commented. I remained silent.

"My family moves around a lot. We were in Alaska before here and New York before there." His light conversation was designed to make me feel at ease, I was appreciative of it. As I had wished, the pain started to return, the hole in my core reappeared as the numbness began to dissolve. I realised that life was continuing around me – Edward's life was continuing, he wouldn't be permanently affected by the events of my day. He would go home and he would sleep peacefully. I would never be the same again. This thought beckoned the tears and I began to weep. I felt foolish, foolish because I thought my parents would be together forever, and foolish for trusting Mike.

I felt even more foolish when in my peripheral vision, I saw Edward hesitate, unsure whether or not to put his arm around me. He had defended me and now, once again, I was making him uncomfortable. He made a soft, familiar humming sound, as though he was speaking very quietly. In an effort to relieve him of any obligation he felt toward me I attempted to control myself. I was successful, at first, but I was too overcome with grief. I felt as though I was going to fall apart. I held myself together, clutching my arms across me and as I did I was further supported by Edward. His arm held me towards his body. I moulded to his shape perfectly, my head resting in the spot beneath his shoulder. His little finger brushed against the bare skin of my arm – it was freezing but still managed to send bolts of electricity through my soul. I shivered in response and to my disappointment he quickly moved it away.

"You should get a coat," I uttered between sobs.

"Sshhh," he whispered into my hair. He began to hum a melody which was unfamiliar to me, but I liked it. I began to doze, I hadn't realised how exhausted I was. As I drifted deeper, Edward continued to hum the song.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he murmured so softly that it was bearably audible. "I should've come sooner, I should never have waited." What he said made no sense but his voice felt like home. He could say anything and I would listen.

"Bella?" a distant voice called. Edward tensed and I sat up, groggy from my brief doze.

"Mike?" I asked to quiet for Mike to hear.

"Bella!?" he called again, he sounded worried. Edward sat absolutely still, his arm still wrapped around me. I felt guilty for snuggling into him – I barely knew him. I had a boyfriend; at least I did until a little while ago. My feelings for Edward were new and confusing, his presence touched me like no one else. This made me fear that his absence would feel as strong. With this in mind, I shrugged him off.

"Mike!" I called louder. Edward stood up, his face was unreadable. Mike appeared moments later, I could see he had been crying.

"Bella, I've been looking for you," he paused, having just noticed Edward. He knew he'd lose if it came to a fight.

"I'm OK," I told Edward; I had taken enough of his time. He looked hesitant to leave, looking from me to Mike and back again. What seemed like sorrow clouded his eyes. I forced a smile to reassure him that I could handle myself and then he left. Mike rushed to fill Edward's vacant seat and ushered me into his arms. I didn't resist. With Edward's absence the numbness returned and I embraced it. The numbness would be what gets me through. I couldn't keep Edward; he'd made that clear earlier by admitting he didn't want to spend time with me. Mike was what I deserved.

"I'm so sorry, she means nothing," he whispered. Even though he had hurt me I couldn't lose him, not right now. I could make it better, we could work through this.

"I know," I replied simply. "Mike?"

"Yeah?" he stroked my hair tenderly. Mike was my thing to hold onto, I needed him.

"My parents are getting divorced."


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks to everyone who has read/rated/favourited my story! This is my first ever story so it's great to hear your feedback!

As the morning light penetrated my disturbed sleep, I instantly began to regret the tequila shots. My tongue felt sticky and much too large for my mouth, and my head... _Gosh, my head!_ I pried open my eyes to glare at the offensive intrusion of light. It streamed in through a hairline gap in the roughly closed curtains, illuminating Mike's face...

_Oh no!_

I immediately shot up. Feeling disorientated, my head was vibrating and my room appeared lopsided. Only, this wasn't my room. What the..?

"Mike!" He grunted in response, still absorbed in his dreams. Did we..? I couldn't finish that thought. My memory was too foggy and vague. My stomach hurled itself into my throat and I forced it back down. _Oh no!_ My brain raced into worst case scenario mode.

_I could be pregnant! _

Oh no. I didn't love Mike, I had promised myself I would wait. That – it would be with someone I loved.

_Oh, God no. My dad! _

"Mike!" I shook him as energetically as my state would allow, driven by the image of Charlie's face when he didn't find me in bed this morning.

"Uh," he stuttered, indicating that he was awake.

I gave him a moment to come around. I was wearing clothes – or rather an item of clothing, just one – Mike's t shirt. My stomach flipped again. Oh, God, it was like something out of a bad teenage sitcom. I could just picture Charlie telling my teachers, _"She had such a bright future." _And me sitting next to him, fat with swollen ankles – pregnant with Mike's child! Please no! The teacher's would nod their heads sympathetically toward my father and shake them disapprovingly toward me. I decided that Mike's _moment _was up and slapped him abruptly on the arm.

"Jeesh, Bella, ow!" He propped himself up and looked at me through tired eyes.

"Did we..?" I prompted, trying to control the shrill tendencies my voice adopted when I was anxious.

"Wha-?" He looked confused and rubbed his eyes. He probably had more to drink than me last night.

"You know what! Did we have, you know?" My mom always said if I couldn't say it then I shouldn't be doing it. I hoped she was right.

"Er." He narrowed his eyes like he always did when he was deep in thought, which I sullenly noted wasn't often. "I don't think so."

"Think?" I screeched, slapping his arm again.

He winced and shrunk away from me. I didn't care. He wasn't taking this seriously.

"Jeesh, Bella, no, we didn't." With this he flopped back on the pillow and closed his eyes. Awesome, my virtue was still intact. With the immediate panic over, a bolt of pain shot across my forehead, reminding me of some bad choices that I _had _made last night. I stole a quick glance at Mike to check his eyes were still closed before gathering up my items of clothing.

_Oh, no, he must have seen me naked!_ I pushed the thought away as I successfully located everything but one sock. Unfortunately, my dignity was also still unaccounted for. I barely muttered a goodbye to Mike, quickly exiting the house to the safety of my truck.

I was dead. Charlie was probably going to kill me, and with him being the chief of police, he'd know how to cover it up. His deputies would probably help him. With Renee gone, who would look for me? My irrational thoughts led me to believe I was still somewhat drunk. I knew better – Charlie wouldn't kill _me_ –he'd kill Mike. Me? Well, he'd just lock me up until I was eighty.

I looked in the glove compartment for my cell phone which hadn't been turned since... "Don't go there Swan," I commanded myself. Deciding against the use of the cell phone – and finding further _voicemails –_ I crept back into Mike's house to call Angela to pick me up – I didn't know if I was safe to drive.

"Hello." Her cheery voice answered after two rings.

"Ouch, Ange, noise. It's Bella," I grumbled.

"Hung over?" she whispered.

"I need you to come and get me," I answered, avoiding confirming the obvious.

Her voice took on a playful tone, "Of course. Is something wrong with your truck? Can't your dad drive you in?"

"Er... no. I'm not at home," I dodged the _absolute_ truth and prepared myself for her onslaught.

"I know," she said simply. "Your dad called here _seven_ times looking for you. Luckily, I answered the phone the final time and told him you'd been staying at mine." I absorbed this information and said a little prayer for best friends like Angela.

"Bella, _where _are you?" From her tone I could tell she knew the answer, but was going to make me say it anyway. I retracted the previous prayer.

"Mike's."

... I awaited her response.

"I'll be there in ten minutes."

* * *

Angela brought me a fresh change of clothes and a toothbrush. She took control of the situation, allocating me five minutes to get ready in Mike's downstairs bathroom. Unfortunately for me, Mike was still sleeping soundly upstairs, oblivious to her glares and discontentment, leaving me to bear the brunt of her judgement.

"He cheated on you!" she hissed through the door. I vaguely recalled what she said being true.

"Uh-huh, I grunted feebly, trying to gather my thoughts.

"With Jessica!" she added. My memory began to clear as I recalled the events from last night.

"I know."I searched in the medicine cabinet for some painkillers, quickly took twoww with a large gulp of water straight from the tap.

"How could you stay with him?" I wasn't sure what she meant by that – stay with him here, or _stay _with him?

"I was drunk," I responded with pathetic excuse number one, quickly followed by number two, "And lonely." I was only sure of excuse number one. I hazily remembered _not _being lonely.

_Oh no, Edward!_

Angela didn't respond and remained silent, leaving me alone with my thoughts. The only noise from the other side of the door was from her pacing the carpet. I continued to comb through my disjointed thoughts. Edward had found me outside and I had sent him away, allowing Mike to take his place. _What was I thinking!? _Edward had been nothing but kind to me. He had come to my defense while everyone else stood watching, dumbfounded...

"Did you guys have sex?" Angela interrupted my reverie. I assumed it had taken some pacing for her to scramble up the courage to ask this question.

I tied my hair into a neat ponytail and pulled the door open to answer her with an – almost – definite, "No."

She appraised my appearance quickly, giving me a swift nod of approval, "Well, thank goodness for small miracles." I groaned in response to the situation, and she slipped an arm around me, leading me to her car.

Thankfully, the drive to school was quiet as my head was still pounding in retaliation to its abuse. The painkillers had yet to take effect. Angela was quieter than usual, tingeing the air with awkwardness. I looked out of the window; it wasn't raining, but it was dark and grey. A little sunshine might have lifted the mood. Driving into the parking lot, she broke the silence.

"Are you going to break up with him?" It sounded more like a threat than a question.

"I don't know," I whined, grabbing my backpack and stepping into the cool air. I didn't want to think about that right now. Mike was my first relationship; did I want it to end like this?

Angela narrowed her eyes at my response and locked her car. She drew in a deep breath before continuing, "Bella, you can do _so_ much better." Her hands were perched on her hips, but her face was sympathetic.

I shrugged, drawing the conversation to a close and headed in the direction of my morning classes. I didn't want to make any big decisions before I had the chance to talk to Mike – while sober.

* * *

I emerged in the cafeteria having made it through my classes without being hassled by any teachers. This hadn't, however, stopped my stomach from lurching every time they directed a question at the class. My brain was still only able to filter very small pieces of information, and I didn't want to reveal that I was hung over.

_Papa Swan would love that._

I paid for my lunch – an apple and a diet coke – and looked for my friends. The search was a pointless habit as they were seated at our usual table. I inhaled deeply before strolling over to them with my best "don't-ask-me-any-questions-I'm-in-pain" face. Unceremoniously, I plonked myself down in the seat next to Angela.

"How are you taking it?" she asked.

_I'd have to work on my "don't-ask-me-any-questions-I'm-in-pain" face._

"Taking?" I didn't even bother to try and think of what she meant.

She looked baffled by my response, and I quickly wondered what I'd missed.

"You usually hate it when people gossip about you," she said carefully. _Oh!_ I glanced around me and noticed a few people staring in our direction. God bless my hangover! Up until now, I had remained blissfully unaware, and I told her as much.

"Oh, sorry," she smiled apologetically, perhaps worried that I would have felt uncomfortable.

"No problem," I reassured her, and took a large bite of my apple.

"Not hungry?" she queried offhandedly. I was, but my stomach couldn't _stomach_ much more food. I laughed internally at my pun.

_Wow, I really must still be drunk or tired or something. _

Desperate to turn the attention away from myself, I set my eyes on Ben who was innocently eating his tuna salad sandwich.

"So, Ben...Taking anyone to the prom?" Prom was ages away but I knew this would be the one topic that Angela would prefer over my relationship with Mike. Ben blushed credulously at my question and his eyes darted quickly towards Angela.

"Erm, no, no, not yet," he stuttered slightly, and continued to blush profusely. I didn't need to look to know that Angela's face was now the same shade.

"You?" he asked and we both instantly regretted the topic. He looked awkwardly at his sandwich while I struggled to produce an answer. Thankfully, we were interrupted.

"Bella, who was that guy last night?" Lauren had taken the seat next to mine and leaned into me like we were friends.

"Which guy?" I knew she meant Edward but I wanted to make her work for the information.

"You know exactly _which _guy. The tall, gorgeous one with the sex hair."

Sex hair? Edward's tousled locks brought a smile to my face. My improper treatment of him wiped it away.

"The one sitting over there with the _better _looking muscle man with the dark hair," she sneered.

_Edward was in the cafeteria?_ I looked to where she had gestured and the chatter around me faded away as my heart fluttered at the memory of Edward's arm wrapped around me last night. He was sitting at the table furthest away from _everything_ with four other people, one of whom I recognized as Alice. I quickly noted the one Lauren had referred to; he was very attractive but upon greater appraisal, they all were.

"So?" she prodded.

"His name is Edward," I reluctantly informed her, while I continued to watch the occupants of Edward's table. None of them looked in my direction – they seemed preoccupied with pushing food around their plates. They weren't even talking to one another. They were all new and I momentarily missed being friends with Jess – she always had information on the new students. Thinking of Jessica, I glanced around the room. She wasn't there, neither was Mike...

"And my future boyfriend is called?" Lauren's shrill voice broke me from my thoughts. I was surprised to see that she looked very serious; her face had even paled a little. The guy she was referring to was out of her league – way out of it. I wasn't shallow enough to think looks were everything, and I had to admit Lauren was attractive _but _personality has got to count, and hers sucked. I was about to respond when I noticed she wasn't looking at me and I followed her gaze back to Edward's table.

Seated next to Lauren's "future boyfriend," was a goddess-like woman. She had long, golden-blonde hair, and her skin was the same pale shade as both Edward and Alice. In fact, everyone at the table was exquisitely pale and painfully beautiful. My focus remained on the blonde. Her attention was no longer on her food but on _our _table, more specifically, on Lauren. Her face held a glare so fierce that it caused the hair on my arms to stand erect. Alice, who sat to her left, nudged her and she looked away, releasing both Lauren and myself in the process. A shiver ran down my spine before I turned back to Lauren, who looked as though she was about to be sick. She quickly excused herself from the table.

A fit of giggles broke out beside me. Angela and Ben had clearly enjoyed the blonde putting Lauren in her place with a mere glance. I smiled in response and continued to eat my apple., still,

* * *

When I arrived at biology class I was relieved to see that my table was still empty. I wanted to arrive before Edward. It was my intention to apologize for last night whilst he was distracted getting his books out. I figured it would have been easier to say _anything_ when he wasn't looking at me. This was, of course, fine in theory. When he arrived a few minutes before class was due to begin, my stomach began to somersault repeatedly in rhythm to the rapid beating of my heart. To my dismay, he didn't look at me once on the way to our table. In contrast, I stared at him shamelessly as he walked toward me. My memory couldn't do his face justice; he was all the more beautiful than I remembered from the canteen. I swallowed hard in preparation for my speech.

"Edward, hi," I didn't give him chance to reply before continuing, "I wanted to say thank you and sorry for last night. You were very sweet and I was so rude sending you away." I scolded myself at my pace; I had meant to sound calm and collected, but all of the words came out rushed, each an extension of the word previous.Eloquence was never my strongest point – I had only breathed after his name as I wanted to savour the sound of it. _Gosh, I had it bad._ I didn't want to but I felt powerless. He had me completely and utterly dazzled; I turned to mush in his presence.

"Don't worry about it," he replied casually. Disappointment kicked me in the ribs. I wanted him to _like_ me. I stared at the side of his face willing him to turn around. He didn't.

"So, how were your morning classes?" I asked in an attempt to appear nonchalant.

"They were good, thank you." Well at least he was being polite while ignoring me. I was stumped for more questions and decided that a more direct approach might be best.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked quietly, afraid of the answer. My heart thumped in my chest, as it always did around Edward.

He turned toward me with an unreadable expression on his face; it was perfectly blank. His golden eyes held mine while he prepared an answer. He opened his mouth, in what I hoped was the beginning of a response, and then snapped it shut, probably thinking better of it.

_Infuriating! _

"Bella, sorry I missed you at lunch." It was Mike; he'd appeared out of what seemed like nowhere. He was perched at the end of our table, next to Edward, who was sitting upright looking toward the front of class – ignoring both of us.

"I slept in. _Big_ headache," Mike explained, spreading his arms out to emphasize how big it was.

I raised an eyebrow in response, impatient to get back to Edward. Mike looked at Edward and then back to me. His mouth formed an "O" shape – this was the first time he'd been to Biology since I had gotten my new lab partner. His eyes questioned me, and I shrugged my shoulders innocently whilst cursing that he best not have the nerve to make a fuss. With his eyes narrowed in a movement I'd already seen once today, I could tell he was trying to think through his hangover – his brain must have hurt if he was trying so hard. My inner bitch laughed. She hadn't been around in a while, I'd missed her.

I sneaked a glance back towards Edward to gauge his reaction to Mike's presence. He hadn't moved, he was once again, incredibly still. I flicked back to Mike, but not before I noticed Edward clench his jaw. Mike had a smile like the cat that had gotten the cream. His behaviour was suspicious, and surprisingly comfortable in Edward's presence. With a swift movement, he put his backpack on the edge of table and fished out... my sock! That _bastard!_

"I found this," he tossed the sock toward me so that it _accidentally_ fell onto Edward's notebook. My chest felt like it was going to explode as I looked at the incriminating item on the table. Another sneaky look at Edward showed that his eyes were still looking straight ahead. The only sign that he had noticed _the sock_ were his now tightened fists just within view under the table. My stomach dropped to my feet, and my face flared crimson from both embarrassment and anger.

"You must have forgotten it this morning," Mike continued, I could tell by his tone that he was fully aware of the effect he was having on Edward, and he didn't seem to care about the effect he was having on me. "You needn't have rushed out this morning. After our first night _together,_" he stretched out this last word, "I wanted to make you breakfast, babe."

My face paled as the blood drained from it; I was beyond the point of embarrassment. I was beyond anger. I was calling upon my newly awakened inner bitch when Edward got up from his seat. He stood menacingly over Mike, fists still clenched by his side. My heart froze as Mike gulped at Edward's confrontation.Without a word, Edward grabbed his books, my sock falling to the table between us, and exited the classroom. I stared hopelessly after him, internally praying that this was a sign he must care.

"Jeesh, what's his problem?" Mike scoffed, having quickly recovered. Everything became very clear to me in that moment and I knew what I had to do. I knew what I wanted.

"Mike?" I said calmly, a cruel smile on my face.

"Yeah, babe?"

"It's over."


End file.
